


Object Permanence

by thrace



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 14:01:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2583932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thrace/pseuds/thrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mulan haunts Aurora.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Aurora is incredibly and overwhelmingly angry with Mulan.

"Why don't you just go talk to her?" Phillip asks when she inevitably gets that look in her eye that means she's remembering that she's mad.

"If she wants to talk she can come into town instead of living in the forest with Robin Hood," Aurora always replies, and then fusses over the baby to distract herself.

And then Phillip will sigh and go outside and look in the general direction of the forest and Aurora will remember that he misses his best friend. But it's never enough to actually compel her to go to Mulan.

*

It's not as though Aurora hasn't tried. During the first few months of their separation - because that's what she thought it was, instead of an ending - she sent Mulan letters by the dozen. At least once a week, but usually more often. And nothing came in return. 

Just once there was a letter from Robin Hood. It was a thank you for releasing Mulan into his service, which Aurora found odd because as far as she could tell Mulan had told her she was leaving and then did exactly that. But the letter also told her Mulan was alive, well, happy, adjusting, and being of great use to Robin's band of followers. And so Aurora's letters slowed, and then stopped altogether. 

And then came Zelena.

*

On top of the horror of being subjugated by someone so powerful they hadn't any hope of even beginning to fight back, there was the awful indignity of being turned into a monkey. She had thought, in her darker moments, that if Mulan hadn't left perhaps they would have found a way. Perhaps they could have prevented the curse. Perhaps any number of scenarios. 

She imagined Mulan would suddenly swoop in, sword flashing, cape whirling with all its customary flair. She would cleave Zelena in two and then turn towards Aurora with her hand out and she would smile and ask- 

And then Aurora would wake up from her daydream and remember that there was no hope, there was only obedience and fear, until Emma returned and freed them all.


	2. Chapter 2

Mulan arrives in Storybrooke in a literal storm of bright blue fire. Something tears open in the skies over Main Street with a sickening thunder and gale force winds buffet the entire town for a few seconds. The people caught outside are knocked over or thrown against buildings and the lights everywhere flicker. 

Aurora is in the diner with the baby when she hears it. Her first instinct is to grab Leah and take shelter, but the storm is over almost as quickly as it began. In the sudden silence, people begin creeping towards the windows and doors, peering out at the street. 

Soon enough Emma's police cruiser comes tearing down the street, lights whirling, before skidding to a stop at the intersection just down the street from the diner. Aurora joins the growing crowd on the sidewalk trying to get a glimpse of what's going on - there's something in the street, a mound of dark clothing, and then Aurora gasps because she would recognize Mulan's cape _anywhere_. She starts running, Leah clutched to her chest, and finds Emma rolling Mulan's body over so that she's face up.

Mulan is unconscious. Emma leans close, searching for a pulse, for a breath. She sits back on her heels, sighing in relief. "She's alive," she says, and Aurora relaxes her grip on Leah somewhat. 

"I'll get the ambulance down here," says Emma, which is when Mulan gasps a great shrieking inhalation of air and sits up, one hand flailing until it clamps down on Emma's arm.

"Jesus _Christ_ ," says Emma, but she steadies Mulan with a hand on her back. "Are you okay?"

Mulan looks around wildly, registering all the concerned faces surrounding her, the strange buildings and the hard surface underneath her. Aurora is almost afraid to be seen but Mulan finds her, as she always does. "Aurora," she whispers like an invocation.

"Just take it easy," says Emma. Mulan is struggling to stand up, pulling away from Emma, who is trying to keep her seated. "We're gonna take you to a doctor."

"I'm fine-" Mulan coughs sharply, hand going to her chest. 

"You're safe. It's fine. Just relax," Emma says in her authoritarian way. 

"Safe," Mulan repeats. She looks around once again. "Everyone is safe?"

"Yeah," says Emma. "I mean, as far as I know. We're all safe."

"Aurora?" she asks.

Aurora nods. "Everything's fine, Mulan."

"Good," says Mulan, and promptly faints.

*

Aurora finds the hospital unnerving, so far removed from the healers of her world. Phillip meets her there, sitting in a tight little ball of anxiety with Leah in her arms. "It's really her?" he asks.

Aurora glances over her shoulder, through the small window in the door leading to Mulan's room. Phillip follows her eyeline to where Mulan lies in a bed, still unconscious. There are people around her, poking her, removing her blood, looking at machines displaying little colored lines and making strange little sounds. 

Phillip scrubs a hand over his face, through his hair, shuffles his feet. "It's her." He looks through the window again. "What's wrong with her?"

"They said they would try to find out," says Aurora.

"Okay." Phillip takes a seat next to her, trying to calm down from the rush of running to the hospital. He puts his hand on her knee, squeezing once. "I'm sure she'll be fine. She has the hardest head of anyone I've ever met."

Aurora manages a weak smile.

Eventually the door opens and Dr. Whale comes out, followed by a nurse. Phillip and Aurora stand up together. "Well?" Phillip demands.

"I'm sorry, where's her family?" Whale asks, looking past them.

Phillip bristles, drawing himself up like the royalty he is. "We are her family."

Whale makes a face like he's resigned to accepting this answer but doesn't like it. "Of course. Well, she's incredibly dehydrated. Blood tests will probably show us more, but my initial exam doesn't show anything seriously wrong with her. I suspect she passed out from exhaustion."

"Exhaustion," Phillip repeats. He seems relieved. "May we see her?"

"Yes. But don't try to wake her up. She needs rest more than anything right now," says Whale.

"Of course. Thank you," says Phillip as quickly as politeness will allow before going in. Aurora follows him at a distance, trying to control the multitude of feelings welling up inside of her. She's at once relieved and angry, elated and resentful. 

Phillip very gingerly holds Mulan's hand. "It's really her," he says softly, half to Aurora and half to himself. 

Aurora wants to take Mulan's other hand, feel for herself that Mulan is real, but she holds herself back. When Leah starts to fuss, it's all the excuse she needs to leave, claiming she needs to put Leah down for a nap. Phillip kisses them both and promises to send word the moment Mulan wakes up. 

When Aurora returns to the house she and Phillip have been calling home, she gets Leah to settle in her crib almost right away. Leah is a good baby, so easy to comfort, never too reticent to sleep. Aurora watches until she goes still, then leaves the nursery. As soon as she closes the door she bursts into tears, collapsing against the wall and sliding down to the floor. 

*

Mulan doesn't wake up for two days. Something to do with her blood; all Aurora really retained from Dr. Whale's explanation was that Mulan's body is so fatigued that it is forcing her to rest now. So she and Phillip wait, and on the second day Mulan's eyes flutter open to find Aurora reading a book in a chair by her bed.

"You're here," she croaks.

"Mulan!" says Aurora, leaping up. She pours a cup of water from a nearby pitcher and holds it up to Mulan's lips, letting her take a few sips.

"You're safe," Mulan says. The way she stares at Aurora, eyes dark and intense, is far too much.

"I'm safe," Aurora agrees. She encourages Mulan to drink more, if only to distract her from her staring.

Finally Mulan has had her fill of water. She licks her lips. "I'm sorry," she says, sounding much better.

"For what?" asks Aurora, pretending to busy herself by refilling the cup. 

"For leaving."

Aurora stills, hands going tight around the pitcher handle and the cup. "Perhaps you should have thought of how sorry you would be before you left." She wants to take it back as soon as she says it, but the words have been balanced on her tongue for months now and they tumble out in a little pile of awkwardness.

"I will never stop apologizing," says Mulan.

Aurora had nearly forgotten this; Mulan is always so painfully earnest, speaking without embellishment or artifice. "You were needed. I needed you."

"I went home to see my family. I was halfway across the world when I heard what happened. I have been trying to return since I found out. I couldn't find any magic beans or I would have come sooner."

"You left long before that." Aurora finally manages to look at Mulan and regrets it right away. Mulan is stricken, pleading, wanting forgiveness so badly. But Aurora can't find it within herself. "You should have been here. And you weren't."

"I will spend the rest of my life atoning."

Aurora tries to put on a smile, wanting Mulan to stop looking at her with those wounded eyes, wanting to escape and be able to breathe again. "It's over now, Mulan. We handled it. So now we can find a way to send you back if you want."

Mulan blinks, bewildered. "I - that never occured to me. I don't want to go back."

"Then I suppose your next step is to talk to Emma and Snow about staying. There's not much call for soldiers here," says Aurora, and laughs lightly. It's a horrible, hollow sounding laugh to her ears but she can't seem to stop herself. She pats Mulan's blanket-covered leg. "Just rest. I'll go get Phillip."

"Thank you," says Mulan, who seems to have seen something in Aurora that makes her lie back against her pillow, quiet and resigned.

Outside, Aurora pauses, trying to come back to herself. She doesn't know why she's behaving so strangely. She just knows that she looks at Mulan and feels strange, unbalanced, like she felt after her only sea voyage when she stepped on solid land again and could still feel the deck rolling under her feet. 

*

She sees Mulan just once more, when Phillip is trying to convince her to move in with them. 

"We have plenty of room," he says while Mulan pulls on her clothes and armor. "There's a room that you could have. And you could meet Leah."

"Your daughter is well?" Mulan asks, pausing for a moment with her fingers hooked on her laces. 

"Growing more beautiful every day," Phillip boasts. 

That gets a genuine smile from Mulan.

"Phillip, if she would feel comfortable somewhere else we should let her live where she wants," says Aurora.

The smile vanishes. "Aurora is right. I will make my own arrangements," says Mulan.

Phillip sighs the sigh of the long-suffering, but agrees in the end. Mulan buckles on her sword and finishes by pulling her cloak around her shoulders. "Promise you'll come by though?" asks Phillip, absentmindedly helping her finish tying one of the stays.

"I will try," says Mulan. 

Phillip finishes fastening his side of Mulan's cloak and grins at her, clapping her on the shoulder as though no time has passed at all. "It's good to see you, friend," he says. "And I'm sure you have quite a tale to tell."

"One day," Mulan agrees. Her gaze turns towards Aurora. She nods formally. "Princess."

"I'm not a princess here, Mulan." Aurora smiles at her, still that odd, not-quite-real smile from before. "I'm just Aurora."

"Aurora," Mulan repeats, but with remorse coloring her words.

"You're sure you're fine to leave?" Phillip asks one last time.

"Stop fussing," says Mulan. Phillip smacks her playfully on the forearm. They've fallen so easily into the comrades of old routine; it makes Aurora resent them both.

Mulan leads the way from the room. Waiting at the entrance to the hospital is Robin Hood. "Mulan!" he says, genuinely delighted to see her. He hugs her, pounding her on the back. To Phillip and Aurora he gives a respectful nod, which Phillip returns. Mulan seems happy to see Robin, or at least she smiles at him without reservation.

"She'll be all right," says Phillip, putting his arm around Aurora and watching Robin lead Mulan away.

Aurora can't say it, but that's exactly the problem.

*

Mulan lives in the forest with Robin Hood. Aurora lives in a charming little gabled house with a small lawn where Leah can crawl around. Phillip has been making sounds about acquiring a dog, a companion for Leah. Aurora's life hasn't been this idyllic since her own childhood. It makes her restless, even dissatisfied, which in turn makes her feel the most ungrateful person in the world. She has the life she always wanted, albeit sans the castle she expected would be her home. A doting husband, a perfect child, a safe life where she wants for nothing. But Mulan lives in the forest.

Sometimes Aurora thinks of suggesting they all go camping as a family, relive the old days minus the gnawing hunger and constant anxiety of being chased or chasing something. Phillip will make vague sounds of agreement, but they don't actually go. Phillip is busy with sheriff's business and Aurora doesn't feel like tramping through the woods on her own with Leah. Phillip suggested once that she take Leah to see Mulan at Robin's camp but she made vague sounds of her own, and he stopped suggesting it.

One night Phillip comes home and instead of his usual happy, exaggerated greeting, he slumps on the couch. "Something is afoot," he says, holding Leah in his lap. Normally he takes this time to play with her and read her stories but tonight he looks confused and worried. He strokes Leah's back absentmindedly.

"What's going on?" Aurora asks.

"I'm not sure," he replies grimly, "But Emma suspects dark magic is brewing in town."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out," says Aurora. "In the meantime, dinner is ready."

Phillip's smile of old returns to his handsome face and he stands up, Leah in his arms. "Exactly what I needed. Thank you." He drops a kiss on Aurora's cheek on his way to the kitchen and Aurora lets herself believe, just for a moment, that she's content.

*

The dark magic situation has gotten worse by the next day. Phillip doesn't return home until late and Aurora is still up waiting, nearly sick with worry even though he'd called and told her he would be working. "Anything?" she asks, as he trudges in.

He shakes his head, digging into the dark bags under eyes with his fingertips. "We even asked Robin and his men for help scouring the forest. Nothing."

"Oh." Aurora's mind immediately lands on Mulan, who no doubt would have been involved, but she forces herself not to ask.

"I saw Mulan though," Phillip says, brightening up. "She seems well." His look is screaming encouragement for Aurora to pick up the thread of the conversation.

"Oh good," Aurora says.

Phillip deflates a little when Aurora doesn't go along with him. "And they haven't searched the entire forest yet, so hopefully they'll find something eventually." 

"I'm sure everything will be fine," says Aurora, which is of course the moment they hear a huge explosion from the direction of town. 

Phillip shoots to his feet, hand reaching for a sword that isn't there. Instead he has a gun, which Emma only recently approved him to wear for his job. His phone rings and he answers it before it can even finish the first ring. The conversation is short, very terse, and when he hangs up he starts moving towards the door.

"Wait, what's going on?" asks Aurora.

"Stay here," Phillip says. "There's some kind of disturbance on Main Street." He's already halfway out the door when Aurora manages to catch up and give him a kiss for luck. 

"I'll be back as soon as I can," he says.

*

Three days later Aurora is with the town's other archers, lining up to face a charge. Snow has them on the rooftops overlooking the wreckage littering Main Street and Aurora is doing her best not to twang her bowstring out of nervousness. 

Down on the ground, Prince Charming - David, she has to remember to call him instead - is holding steady with their ground forces. Phillip is down there. So is Mulan. If Aurora wanted, she could pick out Mulan in her black and burgundy armor, waiting with her sword in hand. She would probably look like Phillip, streaked with blood and dirt, exhausted from two days of pitched battle to push back the demonic forces that followed Mulan to Storybrooke. As it turns out, tearing portals through the fabrics of two realities is not a neat and tidy process. 

Phillip had told her last night that Mulan's guilt was making her reckless and that he would stay close to her, and perhaps Aurora should try to make her feel a little better before the final battle. Aurora had declined and avoided looking across the gym at the corner where Robin Hood, Mulan, and Snow were holding some kind of warriors' council. 

The demons are coming. Aurora can hear them, just a whisper at the moment, but they're out there. She looks to Regina and Emma, stationed on a rooftop across the street. They've set up defensive enchantments which have kept casualties very low, but today they'll be combining powers to close the rift leaking demons into Storybrooke.

The whispers start growing louder. It's time. She can just see the demons now, advancing in a ravening horde of greyish blue.

A scout has set up a marker delineating the outer effective range of their bows. They're ordered to nock and draw. Aurora tries to keep her arm from shaking, more from nerves than fatigue. She's no great shot but it won't matter, with how thickly packed the demons are. 

The demons cross the threshold and Snow barks out " _Release!_ " They rain down arrows on the advancing horde, cutting into their numbers. Aurora manages to fire off three arrows more before the demons close distance with the ground forces, and then the Storybrooke fighters are charging, Mulan at the tip of the spear. 

The archers have to pick their targets now, sniping where they can or firing arrows deeper into the demon ranks. Aurora shoots until the battle lines are so mixed up she can't be sure she won't hit a friendly fighter, then climbs down to join the ground forces. She's not much for swordplay either but she knows the basics and the demons are mindless; it's just their numbers that are overwhelming. They need every sword arm they can get, no matter how inexperienced.

Magic swirls overhead, a river of purple and white. It splashes up against the portal and batters it, the portal flickering and stuttering. Storybrooke's forces are gaining ground, slowly pushing the demons back. Aurora can see gaps opening up. She hacks her way towards Phillip, who is knee-deep in gore. 

Then the portal makes an almighty groaning sound, an almost animal roar, sending a blast of hot air across the battlefield. It bulges, rips wider, and then spits out a demon larger and fiercer than those that came before it. This one is not like the others, the dumb cattle demons that die in swarms. It seems intelligent, looking around at the warriors before it, seeming to weigh them up and formulate a strategy. It takes a ground-trembling step forward, another, and another.

Then Mulan is there, cape waving in the fiery breeze, staring down a demon twice her size. The breeze intensifies, tugging her backwards from the portal, so she pulls the cape from her shoulders. The demon swipes at her with a thick arm tipped with knifing claws and she ducks. Another swipe; she blocks with her sword. Aurora almost forgets to keep hacking at the demons around her while she watches but she dodges just in time to avoid being eviscerated. It's a bloody business, mindlessly slaughtering demons, and by the time she manages to reach Phillip she's splattered from head to toe. He grasps her upper arm, the question in his eyes, and she nods that she's unharmed. They both look to the portal, still absorbing magical energy from Emma and Regina. 

In front of it stands Mulan, swinging her sword, outlined by flaring magical light. She's gotten ahead of the skirmish line and there's no one who can help. Somehow, she's holding off the lesser ranks and forcing the new demon back towards the portal, inflicting quick cuts on its legs, its arms, its belly. She kicks out, swipes in a broad arc, clears space for herself to maneuver, blocks an overhead blow. The portal is choked with bodies and now it's beginning to shrink. 

There's a lull around Aurora and Phillip. She unslings her bow, strings one of her few remaining arrows, and starts loosing at the demons surrounding Mulan. Phillip screens her, preventing stray demons from getting to her. Together they're slowly making their way to Mulan, trying to give her the support she needs.

The portal keeps shrinking. Mulan keeps killing demons and pushing the large one back, preventing anything else from coming out of the portal. Aurora takes a bold shot, aiming for a demon a few feet to a Mulan's right. The arrow hisses home, making the demon shriek and stumble backwards, half into the portal. Mulan turns, startled, tracing the arrow back to its source. She finds Aurora and for a moment, Aurora forgets that she's mad at Mulan. They're going to win and then Aurora will stop being so stubborn and just go to Mulan in the forest. Mulan will be so angry with herself for the demons and Aurora will tell her she couldn't have known, she was just trying to return to her home. Phillip will be absolutely thrilled and will probably start planning all sorts of things they can do together. 

It all happens in a split second. Mulan turns, Aurora sees her face clearly, the beginnings of a smile as she registers who shot that arrow. The smile turns to shock. Aurora screams. Phillip screams too, drawing out Mulan's name.

Mulan's sword drops out of her nerveless hand. A giant curved claw pierces her from behind, jutting through her shoulder. She's being pulled backwards into the portal with the retreating demon. Emma and Regina's magic grows thicker, pushing harder against the portal.

Aurora reaches for Mulan even though she has no hope of touching her. They're separated by piles of bodies, so far from each other. Aurora is screaming at Emma and Regina to wait, please wait, give her the time to get to Mulan and pull her free. Phillip is scything crazily at the remaining demons in front of him trying to get there. Mulan seems calmer than she should, simpily looking at Aurora. 

A great sucking wind, a blinding flash of light, and the portal closes. There's nothing left behind.

*

Aurora almost can't believe it. She isn't aware that she's on her knees until Phillip is pulling her up. "Where is she?" she whispers.

Phillip shakes his head, eyes wet with tears. 

Aurora can't feel her legs, can't think, can't breathe. "Phillip?" She clutches at him, trying to hold herself up. It can't have been more than a second ago that Mulan was standing _right there_.

He continues to shake his head.

All around them, demons are being put down, the streets gradually growing peaceful. No one seems to notice that Aurora and Phillip are caught up in a world of grief. 

Eventually Aurora manages to find her feet. She leans on Phillip, bow still clutched loosely in her hand, and they make their way to the regrouping fighters. Snow is organizing a headcount while Emma sets up triage groups. Everyone is milling around, coming down from the high of the battle, dazed but happy at being alive. Ruby and Granny have thrown open the diner's door and are handing out blankets, food, and water. 

Snow notices Aurora as she walks up, gripping Phillip hard so she doesn't collapse again. She stops; all the activity around her stops. Everyone is looking at Aurora. Emma approaches her cautiously. "Aurora, I'm so sorry about-"

"I asked you to wait," says Aurora.

Emma blanches visibly. "I'm sorry. We couldn't."

"Yes, you could." Aurora drops her hand from Phillip's arm, anger invigorating her. "A few more seconds. That was all I needed."

"Aurora," Phillip says, trying to calm her down. 

"I could have - I could have-" Aurora's breath is coming in gasps. She can't gulp down air fast enough. 

Emma swallows heavily, tears slowly tracking down her face. "I'm sorry," she says again.

Phillip puts his arm around Aurora's shoulder and she lets herself be led away, but she only manages a few steps before she's on her knees again. She sobs into her hands, uncaring that people all around them are watching. Snow starts ushering everyone away to give her some privacy and she keeps crying, Phillip's arms around her, grieving with her. 

She doesn't remember getting up, being guided into a truck, being driven to the school where the children were safely out of harm's way. She just remembers Leah being placed in her arms again, burying her face into her daughter's blankets and inhaling the smell of her, using it to ground herself in the world. 

She and Phillip go home, take turns bathing to clean off the gore, and lie down together in their bedroom, Leah in between them. They watch her in silence, so beautiful and alive, their hands linked together over her stomach.

*

The next morning someone knocks on their door. It's David, holding a parcel in his hands. He looks tired. "Sorry to bother you," he says.

"Please come in," says Aurora. Phillip is still asleep. She heard him weeping in the middle of the night and lay still, not wanting him to know he'd woken her. She had realized in that moment that she hadn't just kept herself from Mulan, but she'd kept Phillip from his best friend. It seems so petty now, knowing Mulan was so near and yet refusing to go see her.

David stands on the door mat. "Are you guys okay?" he asks, radiating kindness in spite of his own exhaustion. 

Aurora nods. Her eyes flick down to the oblong bundle of cloth in David's hands.

"We, uh, started cleaning up Main Street. And I found these." He holds out the bundle, laying it lengthwise across Aurora's upturned palms.

She bites down on her lip. Under the cloth there's something hard and she knows immediately: it's Mulan's sword. David has wrapped it in her cloak. Aurora pulls the cloth away, softer than she remembers it, to reveal the blade. He's cleaned it, restoring it to a near-mirror shine. 

"Snow said you would want this."

Aurora nods, hands clenching around the hilt and blade, protected from its keen edge by the cloak. "Thank you," she says.

"Is there anything I can do for you? I know Mulan was your friend," says David.

"I don't know. Phillip and I haven't talked about it yet. A memorial, I suppose."

"We're going to have a town memorial for everyone, in a few days," David says. "But if you want something more private, I'm sure we can come up with something nice."

"Yes, I...yes. Thank you," says Aurora. She wraps up the sword and holds it to her chest. "What about you? Are you okay? Your family?"

David smiles. "We're all fine."

"Good." Aurora means it, managing to smile back at him. 

He touches her on the shoulder, face full of sympathy. "If you need anything, call us." 

After he leaves, Aurora sinks onto the sofa, still clutching Mulan's cloak and sword. She holds the cloak to her nose, hoping something other than the odors of battle might linger. Around the collar she catches a scent she once knew well, and it nearly knocks her back into the cushions. Fresh tears come now, absorbed into Mulan's cloak. They're not so intense nor so prolongued as the tears of yesterday, but they hurt all the same. The hurt, she thinks, will last for a long, long time.


	3. Chapter 3

If anyone in town still resents Mulan for dragging interdimensional demons along in her wake, leading to a rather large invasion, it seems all has been forgiven at the price of her life. There are many condolences and sympathetic hugs at the memorial. Aurora accepts these without really registering them. She lingers in front of a photograph of Mulan, the only one she thinks exists. One of Robin's men had discovered cameras and started documenting life in camp when Mulan returned and he managed to catch her by the campfire, laughing at something. Aurora traces the lines of her face, wondering what it was that made her laugh, wishing she could have seen Mulan laugh more while they were together.

Phillip is next to her, gripping her hand tightly until Leah starts whining, and then he lets go of Aurora so he can bounce soothingly.

They leave the memorial as soon as they can, walking down Main Street to The Place - she can't bear to say it's where Mulan died, so it has become simply The Place in her mind. The portal was just off to one side of the intersection, and Mulan would have been just about- 

Aurora stands on the spot where she last saw Mulan. A faded scorch mark on the ground is all there is to show for what happened here. Aurora turns slowly, looking down at the scorching under her feet while she rotates. There was no body, even, for a proper burial. Here one moment, gone the next.

A shiver runs down her spine. She glances at Phillip, who is still bouncing, now crooning softly to Leah. He seems fine. 

Aurora chalks it up to standing exactly where Mulan died, or perhaps some lingering magic from the portal. She can almost hear Mulan calling out her name. Of course Mulan hadn't, when she died. She had left silently, in an almost dignified way. 

"Let's go home," says Phillip, reaching out for her. She accepts his hand and together they walk away, followed by the receding echo of Mulan's voice.

*

She's withdrawn, and she knows it, but she feels powerless to help herself. She smiles at Leah, endures Phillip's gentle touches, but she can't seem to connect with anything. Phillip is trying but she can tell he's getting frustrated. He holds her tightly when they're in bed, almost too tightly. He works longer hours, spends more time outside. Sometimes she catches him staring in the direction of the forest. Sometimes she stares at the forest too, thinking about how close it is, how easy it is to simply walk there. It's even faster driving, though Aurora isn't entirely comfortable in cars yet.

Finally Snow asks her to stay after one of their Mommy and Me classes. Neal and Leah sit on the padded floor, staring at each other, exchanging baby sounds that make sense to the two of them. Snow clasps Aurora's hand. "Are you okay?" she asks.

Everyone has been asking Aurora variations on that questions for weeks now and every time she answers the same way. "I'm fine."

"Aurora..." Snow lets go of her hand but her eyes are two welled up pools of sympathy that Aurora absolutely cannot stand to have looking at her. "You don't seem fine. You're my friend and I want to help you. Is there anything I can do?"

Aurora smiles. She's learned that smiling will make most people stop asking about her feelings. "I'm fine, really. I just miss Mulan, that's all."

Snow frowns. "You two went through a lot together. No one expects you to be fine."

"Well I am," Aurora says tightly. "But thank you for your concern."

"If you ever want to talk to anyone, you should go see Dr. Hopper," says Snow. "He's trained to help people deal with their emotions."

Aurora manages a nod, wanting to escape this conversation and just go home. 

Snow still has a last bit to say though. "You know, sometimes I miss our world, but there's a lot of good things in this one. In our world if you were sad you just had to be sad. If you were lucky you could talk to your family or your friends about it. But in this world they understand that sometimes there's...a deeper kind of sadness. You know? There's some things you just can't tell your husband or your friends. Sometimes it helps to have a fresh ear listening." 

"I'll...think about it," says Aurora. She bends down to gather Leah into her arms.

"I miss her too," says Snow.

Aurora forces down the tide of fresh grief rising inside of her. It seems more than a lifetime ago that she, Mulan, Snow, and Emma were on a quest together. She'd wanted so badly for Mulan to respect her then, and she'd been not a little jealous that Mulan was the last person to spend any amount of time with Phillip. The memory that lingers is Mulan kneeling in front of her, Mulan's hand inside of her, putting back what was stolen, the suffusing heat of truly coming back to life, sounds and smells and colors all flooding back into her consciousness.

"See you tomorrow," Aurora says faintly. 

Outside, with Leah burbling in her stroller, Aurora finds herself returning to The Place. She's been avoiding this spot since the first time she and Phillip were here, but for some reason today her feet want to carry her to her sorrow. Even the scorching is gone now, with nothing to mark the passing of a great warrior. Her friend. 

She closes her eyes; she can see Mulan reaching for her, hear her calling out. She wants so badly to rewind time, to have a second chance. She takes a deep breath and forces herself to keep walking, knowing it won't be any easier at home.

*

Much to Aurora's surprise, she finds herself calling Dr. Hopper a few days later. She hasn't told Phillip; she wants to see what it's like before she commits to doing anything more. He agrees to see her that afternoon and before she can talk herself out of it, she's waiting in his office, Leah fast asleep in her carrier on the sofa.

Dr. Hopper seems like a kind man, and Snow recommended him, so Aurora does her best to relax. 

"Why don't you start by telling me about the issues you're dealing with that led you to call me?" Dr. Hopper asks. 

"I don't really know," Aurora admits. "I'm just...sad all the time. I don't know how to get better."

Dr. Hopper starts asking her a lot of questions about her routine, how much she eats and sleeps, how she's getting along with Phillip and her friends. He writes on a yellow pad of paper and makes understanding sounds and at the end he says, "I think you may be depressed."

"Of course I am, my friend died," says Aurora, bewildered that it took all of that for him to state the obvious.

"I mean..." Dr. Hopper seems to search the air in front of him for words. "In this world, depression means something more than just sad. It's a medical condition. I think it explains some of what you've been experiencing."

"Medical condition?" she asks, knowing what he means but not quite comprehending. She doesn't _feel_ sick. She's been eating a bit less recently, but her appetite is not what it was.

"A condition of the mind," says Dr. Hopper. "You've been dealt an enormous trauma and sometimes when that happens, your brain needs help getting back to normal. The good news is, depression is very treatable. I think in your case we should start with talk therapy and then-"

Aurora holds up a hand. "Wait. I'm not sick."

"Minds can get sick, just like bodies," Dr. Hopper says gently. "It happens all the time. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it."

"But I'm not..." Aurora looks at Leah, thinking about what life has been like since Mulan died. It's been harder, certainly. She doesn't feel like doing much. Phillip had called it a "touch of malaise" and tried to cheer her up with some flowers and breakfast in bed, which she had gamely done her best to finish despite not really wanting food. She had assumed that, given time, she would just get better. But if she's honest with herself she hasn't gotten better at all, she's only gotten better at hiding how she feels. 

Dr. Hopper is waiting patiently, encouragingly.

"How often would I have to come?" she asks.

"I'd like to see you once a week at least, but if it becomes apparent in our sessions that you need more, I can see you as often as necessary. How about this." He looks in his calendar, finger scanning the lines. "Why don't you come back in three days when I have an opening? And in that time, I want you to start keeping a schedule. Wake up at the same time every day. Eat regular, healthy meals. Stick to it as much as possible. Okay?"

Aurora nods. 

Dr. Hopper pulls a piece of paper off of his pad with his recommendations and the date of their next session scribbled down. Aurora goes home and hides the list between the pages of a book on her nightstand. She still doesn't want to tell Phillip, despite Dr. Hopper's reassurance that depression is common. It doesn't feel common, and she doesn't want Phillip to think of her as sick, or broken. She just wants to be normal again. 

*

For three days she wakes up with her alarm, dragging herself out of bed even when her body insists she must stay under the covers. She feeds Leah, makes breakfast with something called kale that the grocer told her was a must if she wanted to eat healthy, and sees Phillip off to work. 

On the third day she returns to Dr. Hopper and she does feel somewhat better. At least, she feels like she's being more productive. She still thinks about Mulan constantly. Sometimes she feels as though she might round a corner and Mulan will be there, or if she tilts her head just so she'll hear Mulan saying her name. 

Today he asks her about her relationships. She talks about Phillip and Leah and Snow and Emma, and other friends she's made since coming to Storybrooke. 

Dr. Hopper listens, nods, asks a few leading questions. Then he says, "What about Mulan?"

Aurora frowns. "Mulan?"

"From everything you've said, it sounds like your depression started after Mulan died?"

Aurora flinches to hear it put so baldly. Mulan died. Mulan is dead. "Yes."

"What was your relationship with her like?"

Aurora shuts her mouth tight. 

"I know talking about Mulan is hard, but if you want to get better, you have to be willing to really examine your behavior and your feelings, even if it hurts. Okay?"

It takes a moment, but Aurora nods. Her jaw works while she tries to find words. "I was mad at her," she admits. "I suppose I...resented her. For leaving me the first time. Leaving us, I mean."

"How did she leave?"

Aurora has to describe that day all over again, when Mulan came to her in the garden and told her without preamble or reason that she was leaving to join Robin Hood. She'd thought they were all in such a good place but Mulan wasn't happy at the palace or else she wouldn't have left. And then the slow decay of their friendship until Mulan's arrival in Storybrooke, which Aurora still doesn't know how she made happen. She knows what it took to cast the curse so she can't imagine the lengths Mulan must have gone to in order to follow her from the Enchanted Forest. "i wasn't talking to her, even though she was just in the woods. Phillip wanted me to, but...I couldn't. I think I..."

Dr. Hopper waits, not getting in the way of her thoughts but not giving her an out either.

"I think I blamed her for everything that happened after she left. Zelena, and the curse. If she'd been here, maybe it might have been different." Aurora reaches for Leah without thinking, rocking her stroller a little.

"Do you really think Mulan would have changed things?"

"You didn't know her," Aurora retorts hotly. "She found a way to get to Storybrooke, didn't she?"

Dr. Hopper makes placating gestures. "No, you're right. I didn't know her. I'm sorry. It wasn't an assumption about her abilities. But is that how you feel? That Mulan would have made a difference?"

Aurora sighs. "I don't know. Yes, I think so. Maybe." She drops her face into her hands. 

"Is it more that she would have made a difference, or that you don't know if she would have?"

She scratches her fingers through her hair, tucking it behind her ears. "She would have. I know it.”

“But she’s gone now.”

“I know that too,” Aurora says, sharper than she means to. But Mulan is still an open wound that refuses to scab over and every mention of her makes Aurora flinch away. 

“Knowing it and accepting it are two different things,” Dr. Hopper suggests. 

“What’s the difference? Wishing won’t bring her back.”

“Is that what you want? To bring her back?”

Aurora scoffs. “Of course not. Not in a…serious way. Just the way you wish for someone who’s gone.”

“Before you were mad at her, what was your relationship with Mulan like?” Dr. Hopper asks, as though it’s any other question, but Aurora almost can’t fathom answering it.

“It was – we were friends. Very good friends. She was my protector.” Aurora wrings her hands, massaging her fingers one by one. “She was my husband’s dearest friend. We endured many things together. She once – she once –”

“She once?” Dr. Hopper prompts in a subdued, unobtrusive voice.

“She once…” Aurora makes a cradle out of her hands, remembering it. “Held my heart in her hands. It was stolen, and she returned it, and put it back in my…” She brushes her fingertips against the skin just over her heart, assured of its steady, beating presence. Aurora looks at Dr. Hopper, full of doubt and grief. “How can someone leave you, after doing that? How is it right to be separated from someone who held your heart?”

“I think that’s part of why you’re hurting so much." Dr. Hopper hands her a box of tissues and she pulls one free, dabbing at her eyes. 

He asks her more about Mulan, and she tells him about their wandering, camping under the stars in the lonely wilderness, sometimes going the entire day without speaking but somehow content with each other. She describes learning to shoot a bow and arrow, Mulan’s patience as a teacher, the truly brilliant smile she gifted Aurora the first time she hit a target painted on a tree dead center. And at the end of their session she somehow feels lighter for it, as if she’s let the memories inside of her exist freely again. 

She hugs Dr. Hopper on the way out in genuine thanks, and instead of heading right away for home, goes to the diner. She needs to clear her head, reorient herself after being submerged in the past for so long. 

She finds a seat at the counter, putting Leah up on the countertop. Ruby comes right over, cooing over Leah. Aurora quite likes Ruby; she'd been one of the first to try to make Aurora feel welcome, especially when everyone from the first curse already knew each other. "Just iced tea today," she says.

Ruby winks at her and goes off to pour it; it used to make Aurora a little shy until she figured out that Ruby winked at everyone she liked. When Ruby slides the glass to Aurora, she leans up against the counter instead of leaving right away. "So what are you up to this weekend?" she asks.

Aurora shrugs, swirling her straw around in her drink. 

"You should come out with me and the girls. Ladies' night," says Ruby, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. 

"I can't. The baby."

"Oh come on. If Phillip's busy you can leave her with Snow's babysitter. You could use some fun. We all could. I promise it won't be anything too crazy." 

"I..." Aurora looks at Ruby's bright, hopeful face. Yesterday she might have said no but today she was able to talk about Mulan without crying. That deserves some kind of milestone. "Okay," she agrees. "What time?"

Ruby jots it down on a napkin for her and after she finishes her tea she leaves the diner with something like a bounce in her step. Not quite, but the potential for bounce is there. She has to pass The Place to get home but this time, instead of stopping and letting herself get bogged down in regrets, she steels herself to keep walking.

_Aurora._

She freezes. It's a trick of the mind, she's fairly certain. But for a moment-

_Aurora._

It can't be a trick this time. She heard her name, as though carried from a great distance. She whirls around, trying to see who's calling her. Her ears strain to hear it again, perhaps find its origin. But there's only the ambient sounds of the street. She takes a few hesitant steps in the direction of home, and when she still hears nothing out of the ordinary, continues. Just her imagination then - but she could have sworn it was Mulan.

*

It was probably just the emotion of the day, she decides later, trying to rationalize it to herself. She thought she heard Mulan's voice immediately after she died, too. It's stress. She puts it out of her mind and tries to look forward to the weekend. Phillip is happy to hear she's going to do something social and even more delighted to spend an evening alone with his daughter. If she's honest with herself, keeping to a schedule and being active during the day has her body feeling more like itself and she finds she has energy to spare by the time Friday night arrives.

"Have fun, don't even think of coming back before ten," says Phillip, kissing her on the cheek. She gives him one in return, and one for Leah as well, and then walks over to Ruby's waiting car. Snow and Ashley are already sitting in the back when she slides into the front seat.

"So," says Aurora as Ruby pulls away from the curb. "Rabbit Hole?"

"Not tonight sister," says Ruby. She brings them to a place called The Blind Huntsman on the edge of town, just a few minutes' drive from the forest. It's a two-storey wooden lodge with an open air deck on top, strung around with golden lights. Aurora spots Emma's yellow bug parked outside and stiffens. 

Ruby notices and tosses a glance into the backseat via the rearview mirror before touching Aurora's arm. "You okay with this?" she asks.

Aurora can sense Snow leaning forward behind her, waiting on the answer. She hasn't seen Emma since the battle, even though Phillip works with her. His anger with Emma was fleeting, giving way almost instantly to the understanding that she had no choice but to close the portal. Aurora's has lasted longer, and she can feel the remnants lingering within her. But she understands too, and pats Ruby's hand. "Yes. It's fine. Let's go in."

The entire car seems to exhale a little and when Aurora gets out, Snow stops in front of her and hugs her. "I'm so glad you could come out with us tonight," she says.

"I am too," says Aurora, and finds she means it. It's been almost a month to the day since Mulan died. It's time to at least try being a part of the world again.

Inside, the lodge is rustic and moderately lit. Everything seems carved out of wood and there are a few deer heads mounted on the walls, but nothing too macabre. One wall is taken up with a large stone fireplace. It's cozy despite the open space and not as overwhelmingly noisy as the Rabbit Hole, which Aurora has visited only once at Ruby's behest. She actually quite likes the Rabbit Hole, its vibrancy and slight seediness, but right now it would have been far too much. The music here is playing low enough for easy conversation and Ruby leads them to a round table where Emma is already sitting, looking at something on her phone.

Her smile grows cautious when she sees Aurora, but Aurora returns it reassuringly before sitting. She doesn't miss the look that goes between Snow and Emma, whereafter Emma relaxes in her chair. 

Ruby waves at one of the servers and orders them a pitcher of beer and a bottle of wine. Aurora isn't much for beer. She remembers that Mulan was, though. Ruby pours her a glass of red and she sends up a thought to wherever Mulan is now - the memory of the one time they drank together, overnighting in a tavern much like this one. Mulan had laughed at her face when she tasted Mulan's beer and found it as disagreeable as ever. She'd felt safe enough to have just a little too much wine and that night, in their room, Mulan had covered her up and put her to sleep with a few soft strokes of her hair. Mulan was always gentle with her when she thought Aurora wasn't paying attention.

There's no reason for her to be on her guard here, so for the first time in a long, long while Aurora indulges. She has a second, then a third glass of wine. She smiles at jokes, joins in on a few toasts. "You aren't drinking," she eventually notices, looking at Ruby with her glass of water.

"Designated driver," says Ruby. "My treat for the hardworking moms of Storybrooke."

"You've been very kind to me," Aurora says with the forthrightness of the inebriated.

"Everyone needs a little kindness," says Ruby, smiling fondly at her. 

Aurora tilts her head. "Have you been okay since the..." Her voice trails off and she sees that Ruby understands her. "Everyone's always asking me. I want to be the one asking people for once."

"I'm just fine," says Ruby, nudging Aurora's leg under the table. "Thank you for asking."

"Everyone needs a little kindness," says Aurora. She remembers Mulan waking her gently, so gently, the morning after in the tavern. She was worried about a hangover but Aurora was fine, just a little dry-mouthed. But Mulan already had a cup of water waiting for her.

"Hey," says Ruby. "You were far away for a moment."

The memory recedes and Aurora comes back to herself. "I still miss her," she says, looking down at the table and her finger toying with the base of her wine glass.

"Honey," says Ruby, and leans closer to her. "No one expects you not to. That would be dumb. You're supposed to miss someone you love."

Aurora sniffs, staving off tears. She doesn't want to cry and ruin everyone's night. "I know." She brightens marginally . "I'm talking to Dr. Hopper about it. It's helping."

"That's good," Ruby says encouragingly. "Archie's a great listener."

"I still hear her voice sometimes," Aurora admits. "Almost like she's really here. Is that normal?"

Snow overhears this last bit and puts her arm around Aurora's shoulders. She's had as much to drink as Aurora but isn't as tipsy with it, just relaxed and open. "We all grieve in our own ways. Mulan was one of a kind. I think it would be stranger not to miss her."

Emma raises her pint glass. "To Mulan. The most kickass warrior I ever met."

They toast and drink and if the ache inside Aurora doesn't really ease, it at least doesn't weigh so heavily on her now that she's shared it with others.

Ruby drops them off after one last round. She walks Aurora all the way to her front door to make sure she gets inside. Aurora hugs her on the stoop. "Thank you for tonight."

"Any time," says Ruby, patting her on the shoulder. Aurora waves to her from the doorway as she drives off, glad to have made a friend like her.

Inside, the house is dark. Phillip must already be in bed and Leah is down for the night. Aurora leaves her keys in the little ceramic dish by the door and shuffles into the kitchen for a glass of water. Away from the cheering influence of her friends, she can feel herself growing maudlin, and before she can stop herself she's kneeling in front of the chest at the foot of her bed. She's careful to open the lid noiselessly so Phillip doesn't wake, and there's the barest whisper of cloth as she pulls out Mulan's sword, still wrapped up in her cloak.

She goes into the living room and turns on a single lamp by the sofa to look at the sword. She folds back the cloak, pausing here and there to trace tears or stains in the fabric, then grips the sword's hilt and pulls it free. The balance feels familiar; Aurora had asked Mulan to let her try it a few times, just to learn the basics. At least she has this sword, if Mulan had to vanish in death. 

She turns it a few times, rotating her wrist to look at the blade. When she tips it up she startles so badly that she drops the sword with a clatter - a woman's face had reflected back at her, a face with dark eyes and hair that was most certainly not Aurora's. 

A moment later Phillip comes walking sleepily into the living room looking rumpled. "Aurora? What are you doing?" he asks, yawning halfway through.

"I was just..." She picks up the sword again. There's no reflection now, just a dull yellow gleam from the lamplight. "Nothing. Just woolgathering." She folds up Mulan's cloak on the coffee table and sets her sword down on the cloak, resolving to have a display case made soon. She smiles apologetically at Phillip. "Sorry I woke you up. Go back to bed. I'll be there soon."

He nods and returns to the bedroom, scratching his chest.

As soon as he's gone, Aurora grabs the sword and twists it this way and that, hoping to see the face again. She could kick herself for failing to remember Mulan's sword is not ordinary and taking so long to look at it again. Much to her disappointment the blade shows her nothing. Reluctantly, she places it back on the cloak. It's her mind again, it must be. 

She undresses in the dark bedroom, fingers slightly clumsy with drink, and pulls on a nightgown that falls to her thighs. Phillip is already out again or else he would try to pull her close. She's glad for the space tonight. 

*

She's back on Main Street. There are demons everywhere. The portal is roaring, surging under a barrage of purple and white magic. Aurora chops down bodies like firewood, fighting her way back to Mulan. She knows what happens, opens her mouth to scream a warning, but it's too late. The claw goes through Mulan's body slow and smooth, jutting out of her, pulling her up onto her toes, dragging her back through the portal, and Mulan is saying her name even though her mouth isn't moving _Aurora Aurora Aurora_.

Aurora wakes up in the middle of the night, scared and sobbing. Next to her, Phillip mumbles something and then wakes up too. "Aurora?" he asks, rolling over so he can put an arm around her waist. "Shhh, it was just a bad dream."

"It was awful," Aurora manages to get out between sobs. She cries until her pillow is soaked and she's exhausted. Phillip pulls her towards the center of the bed.

"I still dream about it too," he says.

She can't find the words to tell him that this felt like so much more than a dream. Mulan's voice still rings in her ears, trapped in her head without diminishing. Instead she lies awake in his arms until sunrise.


	4. Chapter 4

Even though she's not due to see Dr. Hopper for another few days, she calls and asks for appointment once Phillip leaves for work. Fortunately he has a cancellation for right after lunch, so she busies herself with a few chores, then gets Leah dressed and settled in her stroller.

At Dr. Hopper's office she can barely sit still, fidgeting until he clicks his pen and looks at her with a ready expression. 

"I think I'm having hallucinations," she blurts out.

Surprise flashes over Dr. Hopper's face, but he covers it right away. "What kind of hallucinations?"

"Mulan. I saw her last night. I took out her sword to look at because I was, I don't know, I suppose I was missing her more than usual, and I swear I saw her face reflected in the blade. And I dreamed about her last night."

"Well, dreams aren't unusual when you're under stress..."

"No, but this was different," Aurora interrupts. "It was like she was calling out to me." She hesitates, wondering how much she can really tell Dr. Hopper. He's reassured her that this a "safe space" over and over but she doesn't want him to conclude that she's crazy. "And I...I think I hear her, sometimes. At first I thought it was stress but I don't know. Maybe they're not hallucinations. Maybe she's trying to reach out to me?"

Dr. Hopper gets a look of deep sympathy on his face and Aurora knows she's about to hear nothing good. "It's not unusual to think that our loved ones are reaching out to us after they've passed on. And stress can cause all kinds of visual and auditory illusions. Have you been staying on your sleep schedule?"

"Yes," she says, trying to mask her impatience with his doubt. "Except last night, I was out late, but it was the first time since I started seeing you."

"What else different did you do last night?"

"I went out with friends and we shared some wine, but..." She can see him gearing up to explain everything away. "No, I wasn't intoxicated. Not that much." 

"Like I said, stress can cause all sorts of symptoms. It might not have been alcohol related at all. Did the hallucinations tell you anything else? Ask you to do anything?"

Aurora shakes her head. "They didn't tell me anything, really. Just my name."

Dr. Hopper seems to find this answer reassuring. "Let's discuss how seeing and hearing these things made you feel."

For the rest of the session Dr. Hopper seems bent on discouraging Aurora from believing what she saw and heard was real. By the end she's beginning to doubt herself, wondering if it really is just stress. She'd thought she was getting better but Dr. Hopper says that progress isn't always a straight line. 

When she leaves his office she's tempted to go back to The Place, just to see what happens. She knows what she saw and heard and yet just because she saw and heard them, that doesn't mean they're real. She hates feelings so uncertain, so in doubt of her own senses. Before she knows it she's arrived. She feels slightly foolish just standing there with Leah's stroller on the sidewalk, trying not to look like she's listening for something. 

There's nothing but a far-off car engine and the overhead hum from the electrical wires. Still, she lingers, going across the street, circling the spot, swiveling her head. But still nothing. She doesn't know whether to be disappointed or relieved.

*

At home, Mulan's sword is where she left it. She uses the cloak to rub off the fingerprints she left behind and admires it for a few moments. No ordinary weapon, this sword. Mulan doted on her blade as much as she ever did Aurora, once spending three days grumbling about taking a nick in the edge from a surprise ambush of highway bandits and then, when Aurora had innocently suggested she take it to a blacksmith, another day of Mulan expounding on all the finer points of forging and repairing blades, especially one as unique as hers. Aurora liked watching Mulan talk about things with authority since she rarely spoke at length to begin with. 

She hefts the sword one last time, fully intending to wrap it up and put it away, but as the blade crosses in front of her eyes she inhales sharply. 

It's Mulan's face, not as she remembers it, covered in dirt and sweat and flush with exertion, but pale and desperate. This time she doesn't drop the sword, but turns it slowly, trying to bring Mulan's face into clearer resolution. Her face flickers in and out of the blade until it disappears altogether. "No!" Aurora whispers, frantically holding up the sword and trying to find the right angle, to no avail.

The sword drops into her lap and she clutches her head with both hands. Perhaps she really is going crazy. 

Quickly, almost savagely, she wraps Mulan's sword and marches into the bedroom. When the trunk lid is open she hesitates. Just as quickly she changes her mind, yanks the sword out of the cloak, and stuffs it under her side of the mattress. She has no idea what possesses her to do so, only that she has the spark of an idea that she must follow to its conclusion.

She says nothing to Phillip when he comes home, just passes dinner in pleasant but distant conversation. Leah makes a mess as usual and it takes some time to get her clean in the bath. Then Phillip puts Leah to bed, giving Aurora a chance to shower off the detritus from dinner and think one more time about what she's doing.

She stays in the shower until the mirror fogs over, replaying everything over and over in her mind. Is Mulan reaching out for her from beyond? Is she going mad with grief? Surely someone would have noticed if she were losing her mind. 

When she gets in bed she can feel the vague lump of Mulan's sword underneath her. Phillip puts a tentative hand on her waist, asking now instead of assuming as he used to. In the days right after Mulan died, she'd folded herself tightly in his embrace, but gradually she's come to find it suffocating. She puts her hand over his, but doesn't roll into his body. She can feel his disappointment, the nearly invisible sigh he releases, but can't bring herself to appease him. She leaves their hands loosely touching in the middle of the mattress, aware that it isn't much consolation, but not wanting to withdraw completely. She owes Phillip so much and wants to reciprocate, especially when he looks at her with soft, hurt eyes, but every time she tries she can tell her heart isn't in it. It feels like obligation, not desire.

Phillip falls asleep first, as usual. If nothing else, his steady breathing helps put her to sleep, and she drifts off with the moon high in the sky. 

*

_Aurora._

She hasn't been in this room in long months. She thought she had it under control but she's back in the- 

No flames. Aurora turns around in a full circle. There are no flames. It's like the room from her cursed sleep but also not, the walls expanding away from her into near-total darkness.

_Aurora._

Her ears prick, catching the slightest whisper. She turns around again, leading with her ears, scanning intensely. 

_Aurora!_

She starts walking in what she thinks is the right direction. The room travels with her, but somehow she knows she's not staying in the same place. She can hear something else now, a dull, deep, rhythmic sound. She starts running, bare feet pounding, faster and faster until she sees a speck of color in the darkness far ahead of her. She runs, not needing air, not getting tired in this dream world, and the speck grows from a dot into a tiny figure into a human body.

"Mulan!" she cries out.

Mulan presses her hands against some kind of invisible barrier, her mouth moving but making not a sound. She blurs in and out of focus, now clear, now just a suggestion of a shape.

Aurora runs, she really tries, but Mulan isn't getting any closer and then Aurora feels her feet lose contact with the ground, as though she's been yanked up from above. She flails her hands out, reaching desperately for Mulan just like the day she died. Mulan is pounding at the barrier with her fists, staring up helplessly. 

Light shines down on Aurora from above as she's inexorably drawn upwards. "Mulan!" she cries one last time, and then she's waking up in her bed with Phillip trying to calm her down, his hands on her shoulders.

"It was just a nightmare," he says.

"Phillip - it wasn't - Mulan was-" She can't find words to express how real the dream was, how utterly convinced she is now that Mulan is trying to reach her.

"I know. I know," he says, hugging her and rubbing her shoulder. But he doesn't know, not at all.

*

She doesn't bother trying to tell Dr. Hopper about her dream. He wouldn't believe her anyway. Instead she talks about her relationship with Phillip, the genuine interest she's taken in learning about this world from books in the library, her fears and hopes for the immediate future. Dr. Hopper touches his pen to his mouth and asks her more questions about Phillip and she finds herself pouring out her frustrations, how they seem to be living in the same space but not truly together. 

"How old were you when you met Phillip?" he asks.

"Sixteen," she says, and though she's only twenty-two now, it feels so much longer ago. She supposes, when she thinks about it, she's known Phillip nearly a third of her life, and will know him for the rest of it. Once that might have been the most reassuring thought in the world, but sitting in Dr. Hopper's office she finds herself saying out loud, "Is it possible to love someone, but not be in love with them?"

"I think so," says Dr. Hopper. "There are lots of different kinds of love. Love for our parents, or our spouses, or our friends."

"I'm not sure anymore," Aurora says, half to herself. She's afraid that if she speaks any louder that Phillip will somehow overhear her. "Isn't love supposed to be sure?"

Dr. Hopper clears his throat. "Marriages take work. Even where there's true love, you're two independent people with your own wants and needs. You won't always be in harmony."

"Work," Aurora repeats. "It feels like work. It feels like...I'm doing it because I have to do it."

Dr. Hopper goes very quiet, very tender. "Aurora, do you feel safe at home? Is anyone pressuring you to do things you don't want to do?"

She draws back from him. "No. No! Nothing like that."

"Okay, okay," he soothes. "It's my job to ask. Your safety comes first, so you can always tell me if-"

"It's not like that," Aurora reiterates stubbornly. It takes her a moment to look past her affrontery and remember that Dr. Hopper is on her side. "I just feel like...there should be more."

"More what?"

She searches within herself for words to elaborate, but can only gesture helplessly with a hand in front of her chest. "More."

"Okay," he says aggreeably. "So here's what I want you to do until next week. Think about what you really want from your marriage, and the things you think you're not getting from your marriage."

She agrees in a haze, somewhat astonished with herself at everything she's said today. Once again she goes to the diner to come down from the intensity of it all. Ruby takes one look at her face and vanishes into the kitchen, coming out with a basket of hot, fresh fries. 

"Oh, no thank you," says Aurora, even though she loves fries.

"Trust me, you'll feel better," says Ruby, and nudges them closer to her.

As soon as Aurora starts nibbling on one, Ruby smiles, knowing that the rest aren't far behind. She flits around the diner, refilling coffees and serving up orders, ultimately making her way back to Aurora. There are only a few people so Ruby has time to lean both arms on the counter, sharing Aurora's fries and not putting any pressure on her to do anything but have a snack. 

"Are you happy?" Aurora asks suddenly.

Ruby pauses mid-fry, looking at Aurora with her keen, dark eyes. "Most of the time," she says. "Why, are you happy?"

Aurora pushes the remaining fries around with one finger. "I don't know."

"Problems at home?"

"Forget I said anything," says Aurora, and starts eating again. 

Ruby lets her be, but Aurora can still feel the touch of her perceptive gaze. When they get to the last fry, Ruby lets her have it. "You know," she says before clearing the counter. "We should have another girls' night. You had fun at the last one, right?"

Aurora nearly shivers at the memory of that night, seeing Mulan in her sword blade for the first time. "Yes," she says, not sounding very convincing to her own ears. "I did," she adds, more firmly.

"Cool. How about another one? Saturday night? I'll work out all the details and pick you up at eight."

Aurora can't help but smile at Ruby's enthusiasm. "Saturday. See you then."

*

"I thought we might go out this weekend," says Phillip over dinner. Aurora has made roast chicken with garlic, his favorite, telling herself the whole time that it was not out of guilt. At least she's managed to eat a good portion of hers, improvement over when she would just pick at her meal. Eating is still a bit mechanical for her, but her appetite is growing by the day. 

"Oh?" she says, half her attention on Leah who is contentedly rolling around her playpen next to the table.

"Saturday night? I don't have to work Sunday, so it would be perfect," he says hopefully.

"Oh, I promised Ruby I would see her then. What about earlier in the day?"

"I'd rather dinner. You know, something romantic," says Phillip, covering her hand with his. "Wine, candlelight, good food, conversation. I'm sure Snow would babysit for us."

"Snow is going to join us," Aurora says, even though Ruby hadn't confirmed it. Ruby will of course invite her best friend so she feels comfortable making the assumption. "How about a picnic? Something outdoors?"

"All right. Sounds lovely," says Phillip, but she can tell his smile is a bit forced. 

"The weather's going to be so nice," Aurora continues, trying to sell him on the idea. 

Phillip lets go of her hand and focuses on his potatoes. "Aurora, if you don't want to go to dinner, just say so."

She pulls her hand into her lap. "I do, but I already made plans."

"Don't you think you should have waited to ask me first?" 

Her chin starts to jut defiantly. "You don't need to ask my permission to see your friends, and I don't need yours.

"No, of course not, I just..." Phillip sighs and puts down his fork. "We hardly spend time together anymore. You know? Meaningful time. Just the two of us. And I know it's been very difficult for you, but we have to start moving on."

Aurora can't believe he would make that accusation. "You think this is about Mulan?" 

"Of course it is. Everything is about Mulan." Phillip stares at her. "Tell me it's not."

"It's..." Aurora grips the edge of the table. "It hasn't even been two months since she died, Phillip."

"She was my friend too," he says loudly, pointing at himself. "You think I don't count the days since she died? I'm still mourning, but I'm not stuck in the past."

"I'm not either. I'm trying to get better - to _do_ better. For us, for our family."

"It doesn't feel like it," Phillip says obstinately. "It feels like there's me, and there's you, and there's a shadow hanging over us."

Aurora looks down at her hands, clenched in her lap. "Maybe there is."

Phillip leans back worldlessly. "I need to..." He waves his hands in a roundabout gesture. "...take a walk. Clear my head. I'll be back." He stands up and walks directly out of the front door without stopping for his keys or phone.

Aurora lingers at the table, wondering how they got here. Eventually she manages to get everything cleared and then takes Leah to the nursery to put her to sleep. She sits in the rocking chair next to the crib, staring at her daughter, envying the simplicity and peacefulness of her life. Leah sleeps entirely through the night two days out of three now, and Aurora takes a few pictures of her just to have them. It's marvelous to be able to have so many keepsakes of Leah's life right in the palm of her hand; Snow had shown her how to use her phone to take pictures and she has hundreds and hundreds of them now. There are some of Phillip as well, and a group photo from the first time Ruby took her out. But nothing of Mulan, just a worn cloak and a sword, still hidden under her mattress.

She goes to the bedroom, pulls the sword out, and tilts the blade around. Nothing tonight, but instead of returning it to its hiding spot, she slides it under her pillow. She adds Mulan's folded up cloak on top and covers them both with her pillow. She doesn't mean to fall asleep just yet, this early and still in her clothes, but as she lies there idly rubbing a corner of the cloak between her fingers she accidentally drifts off.

*

Mulan is in the same spot, pressed desperately up against the barrier. Aurora runs until she's within arm's reach of her. "Mulan?" she asks, catfooting up the last few steps.

Mulan nods. 

"How do I get you out?"

Mulan just places her palm against the barrier. Aurora slides closer, hand extended, gliding towards Mulan's. She finds the barrier, cold and smooth as glass but completely invisible to the eye, and imagines sinking through it to find the warmth of Mulan's hand opposite hers. 

"Why are you trapped here?" 

Mulan shakes her head. She must not know either. 

"I'm going to get you out, I promise." They stay like that, touching opposite sides of the barrier, not talking but staring at each other, until Aurora feels a tug on her body and knows she's waking up. "I promise," she repeats, and drifts away.

*

She's alone in bed when she wakes up. One hand is beneath her pillow, buried in Mulan's cloak. She sits up right away, feeling alert and well-rested. She knows what she has to do now.

First she feeds and dresses Leah, cooing to her that today their routine will be slightly different. She can see that Phillip has been and gone since his keys aren't in the bowl by the door and he's left an unfolded blanket on the couch. It's just as well since Aurora doesn't want to waste time explaining to him where she's going.

The walk is a bit long, but she feels invigorated by the time she arrives in front of Regina's house. She doesn't give herself time to feel nervous, just rolls Leah up to the front door and knocks. And knocks again, when she thinks it's taking too long.

Finally, someone opens the door. "What is so urgent?" says Regina, then pauses at the sight of Aurora. She was clearly expecting someone else.

"Regina. Sorry to bother you, but I have an important question about magic." Aurora looks at her expectantly, clearly wanting to be invited in, and Regina gives way with ill grace. 

Inside, Aurora puts on her baby sling and snugs Leah into it so as not to track the stroller's dirty wheels through Regina's clearly immaculate house. They adjourn to the parlor, where Regina sits primly in a chair and beckons Aurora to take the couch. "What is it?" Regina asks.

"It's about Mulan."

Unexpectedly, Regina's face softens, and Aurora hurries to speak before Regina can do anything as misguided as offering her condolences. "I think she's still alive."

Sympathy turns to surprise. "What makes you think that?"

"I see her in my dreams," says Aurora. "I think it's something to do with the sleeping curse. But I've seen her twice, and we've communicated. I think she's trapped there. Somehow she didn't die when you and Emma closed the portal."

Whatever Aurora thought Regina might do, she certainly didn't think Regina would narrow her eyes in earnest contemplation. "Describe it."

Aurora tells her about the dark room, finding Mulan, the barrier that separates them. 

"Well," Regina says after all that. "If we had Mulan's body, I suppose it would be as simple as administering true love's kiss to wake her up. But we don't."

"So what do we do?" asks Aurora, leaning forward eagerly. 

"I'm not certain we should do anything at all. It took a considerable amount of power to close that portal the first time and I'm not going to take any risks opening it again."

Aurora frowns. "You think we would have to in order to get Mulan out?"

"I don't know, but if we did, would you be willing to risk Storybrooke for one person?"

"Yes" is on the tip of Aurora's tongue, but she stops, knowing what Mulan would say. She feels shame start to burn her cheeks. "I promised her I would get her out."

Regina _hmph_ s at that. "That was foolish."

"Well maybe I am a fool," Aurora retorts. "But I owe it to Mulan to try everything I can."

"She nearly destroyed the town," Regina points out.

"She was coming back to me. I should have never let her leave in the first place." Aurora knows her face has gone a bit intense but she doesn't care. Let Regina see how important this is, how much Aurora needs her help. She can't afford to hold anything back now.

"And what if I told you I won't help you? That the risk far outweighs the benefit?"

"Then I'll figure out a way without you," says Aurora.

Regina has no immediate answer. Instead she gives Aurora the kind of searching look she would rather not receive from former evil queens. "You really love her." It's an observation, not a question. Aurora lifts her chin, not about to let herself be judged for how she feels. But Regina does no such thing. "Let me do some research," she says instead. "I'll get back to you when I have an answer."

"Of course," Aurora says, far more polite than she feels, but willing to take this over a flat out refusal. 

At the door, Regina stops her with a hand on her upper arm. "Just to be clear, I _will_ shut you down if I think this might endanger the town."

"I won't ask you to put anyone else at risk," says Aurora stiffly. 

"I won't put you at risk either." Regina's eyes drift very pointedly down towards Leah, still in her sling.

"Thank you for your time, Regina," Aurora says. 

"Don't do anything foolish until I get back to you," says Regina.

*

Phililp shows up that evening after work with an enormous bunch of flowers and a contrite expression on his face. "I'm sorry for fighting," he says. 

"We need to talk," Aurora says.

She sits them both down in the living room, the flowers set aside on the coffee table. Phillip looks slightly panicked, as though waiting for bad news. "Mulan is alive," she says without preamble.

Phillip barks out a sharp, disbelieving laugh. "Aurora..."

"She is," Aurora insists. "I've been having dreams." She scoots closer to Phillip on the couch. "Phillip, she's alive. She's just trapped somewhere. All we have to do is get her out."

"Alive?" he repeats weakly. His hand goes to his heart. "You're certain?"

"As certain as I've ever been about anything. I think she's been trying to get my attention since she disappeared, but it's only until I had the dreams that I understood." Her expression begs him to accept, to understand.

"Your attention? How?"

"I kept hearing her voice. I saw her face reflected in her sword. I thought I was losing my mind." Aurora smiles hopefully at him. "Now I know I wasn't. Phillip, _she's alive_."

He takes a minute to process this, visibly working it out for himself. "And she's been appearing to you? Just you?"

"Yes," Aurora says patiently. 

"Alive." His face cycles rapidly between dismayed to confused to overjoyed. "Alive!" He crushes her in a sudden hug and she hugs him back and they start laughing joyously, the first real joy in their house in some time.


	5. Chapter 5

Phillip encourages her to keep her Saturday night engagement with Ruby, all thoughts of their quarrel pushed aside in light of her discovery about Mulan. They're still waiting on Regina, who has been silent for two long, agonizing days - and for two long, agonizing nights she's had to stare at Mulan in her dreams and tell her there's no progress. Aurora has tried doing research of her own, but the Storybrooke library has no magical tomes, just regular books. She'd even tried using the library's computer, painstakingly spelling out search terms the way Belle showed her. The internet had no suggestions for how to retrieve someone from a mystical interdimensional portal.

Ruby arrives promptly at eight, this time with an empty car. But instead of going to The Blind Huntsman or another bar, they drive to Snow's place. Aurora looks at Ruby while she parks. "Are we picking up Snow?"

"Nope. Come on," says Ruby, getting out of the car and leading the way into Snow's building.

When Aurora steps inside of Snow's apartment, she finds Snow herself, along with Emma and Ashley. Emma stands up, hands brushing imaginary lint from her pants. 

"Are we staying in?" asks Aurora, looking from woman to woman.

"Regina told me," Emma says.

Aurora knows right away what she means. She wishes she had sworn Regina to secrecy, if only to forestall this inevitable moment. "I'll do this with or without her help," she warns, body tensing for a fight.

"No no," says Snow, standing up as well. "We want to help."

"You do?" Aurora finds herself being shepherded by Ruby over to the couches.

"She saved my life once, remember," says Emma, hands shoved in her back pockets. "Not the kind of thing you forget."

"I just showed up for the wine," says Ashley, toasting with a glass. "But I want to help too."

Aurora looks around at all of them, their hopeful faces. "I don't know what to say."

"Say thank you," says Snow, sitting next to her with an arm around her shoulderse. "And tell us what we can do."

"I don't know," Aurora admits. "I'm mostly waiting on Regina." 

"That's kind of my fault," says Emma apologetically. "We had an...issue with Henry. It's how I found out. I went over there to ask her why she was so distracted and she told me you're trying to rescue Mulan. So. Here we are."

"Let's start with all the facts first," says Snow, so Aurora lays out everything again. Voices, faces, dreams. She has no theories, just hope, a cloak, and a sword.

"So she's been trapped there since the battle," says Ruby. Her mouth twists unpleasantly to think of it. "I guess it's lucky you're like a Mulan tuning fork or something."

"I guess," says Aurora, staring into her white wine. "It's awful, though, seeing her in my dreams but not being able to really talk to her."

"Well she knows you're trying. She doesn't look like she's in pain or anything, right?" asks Emma.

Aurora shakes her head and drinks deep.

"I wonder," Snow muses, "Why you could hear Mulan before, but she can't speak to you in your dreams."

Aurora has wondered that too, especially when she could communicate with Henry in their shared dreams. 

"Maybe it's because she's not under a sleeping curse? It's not quite the same thing so they're not compatible," Emma guesses. "You're Windows and she's Mac."

Aurora has no idea what that means, but the others seem to get it, so she goes along with it. 

"The dreams started when you looked into the sword?" Ashley asks.

She nods. "I have them every night now. I've been sleeping with it under my pillow."

Ashley taps the side of her wineglass a few times as she thinks. "What if you slept with it in hand?"

"That sounds super dangerous," says Emma at the same time that Snow says, "That could be worth a try." Mother and daughter exchange looks, then Emma holds up her hands in aqcuiescence. "Hey, I'm not the sleeping curse expert here," she says.

It's something, anyway, and all the rest of their brainstorming comes to naught, so that night Aurora asks Phillip to sleep once more on the couch, in case he gets cut on the blade. She can tell he wants to object to her plan but it's for Mulan, who they both love and miss, so he agrees and they part with far less acrimony than the last time he slept on the couch. This time she also has a cup of strong valerian tea, the kind she used to take when her cursed nightmares were stronger and interfered with her sleep.

She lies down in bed with the sword clasped in both hands, holding it parallel to her body and the hilt resting on her breastbone. It feels uncomfortably like being laid out in state on a bier but she ignores that and closes her eyes, willing her mind to stillness. With the tea still warm in her stomach and the house quiet and still, she drifts.

Gradually she becomes aware that she's in the dream world. This time she has emerged close to Mulan, with no need to run in search of her. She nearly trips over herself going to the barrier where Mulan stands, waiting as always.

"Mulan," she says breathlessly.

She hears her name clear as a bell: "Aurora." 

Aurora's smile is as wide as it will go and slowly Mulan smiles too, realizing that Aurora has heard her. "I'm here," says Aurora, matching palms with Mulan against the barrier.

"I knew you would be."

The barrier seems thinner; Aurora could swear she feels the warmth of Mulan's skin against hers. "Do you know what I have to do to get you out of here?"

"I don't know. I woke up here. The last thing I remember is the battle."

"Regina's working on it. So are Snow and Emma. I promise we'll find a way, no matter what it takes."

Mulan's smile falters, her hands sliding away. "Don't do anything foolhardy. Not for me."

"Mulan-"

"No," she says sharply. "I endangered all your lives once. If leaving this place would do so again, then I will remain here."

"But-"

"If you cannot find a safe way, then I will not go."

Aurora can't believe what she's hearing. "You didn't let anything stop you when you were searching for me. Or when we were searching for Phillip."

"That is different-"

"Dammit Mulan!" Aurora slaps her palm against the barrier, light rippling away from the impact. Mulan's eyes widen at the outburst. "Stop punishing yourself. Why call out to me if you're just going to stay trapped forever? I can't live like that."

"But you'll live," Mulan says. 

"No, I won't. Not really. Don't give up before we've even tried, Mulan." Aurora presses even closer to the barrier, beseeching Mulan, trying to make her believe.

Mulan closes her eyes, leaning her forehead against the barrier. "All right."

Aurora tilts her head forward, mirroring Mulan. Their hands are so close, but still unable to touch. "Good," she says softly. 

"How long do you have?" Mulan asks, not moving. 

"All night. Phillip knows not to wake me, and I had enough valerian tea to put down three grown men."

"Phillip is well?"

"He misses you. We all do. Oh Mulan, when you come back there's so much to talk about. I'm so sorry about before." 

"You had every right," Mulan says. She turns her face away from Aurora. 

"No, I didn't. If you needed to leave you must have had your reasons. It was awful of me not to accept that."

"I owed you more than just a goodbye."

They're silent, Aurora watching Mulan, who is breathing erratically, struggling internally with something. "It's okay," she says, trying to calm her down. "It's okay. We're okay." She slides down so she can sit, noticing for the first time in the way of dreams that she's in the dress she wore during most of her questing with Mulan instead of her nightgown. She arranges the skirts around her legs and looks up, inviting Mulan to sit with her. 

Mulan slides down too, but with her back to the barrier, legs drawn up so she can rest her forearms on her knees. Aurora leans against the barrier too. "Leah's getting so big," she says. She can see Mulan turning her head slightly, listening. She keeps talking and doesn't stop until she wakes up, Mulan's sword cradled in her arms.

*

Emma calls them in the morning sounding only slightly bleary from drinking. "Can you meet me and Regina where...you know, where it happened? She has an idea."

"Yes, of course," says Aurora, nearly hanging up then and there in her haste to get dressed and almost missing Emma's next instructions.

"And bring Mulan's stuff. We're gonna need it."

Aurora's nervousness grows as she pulls on clothes. Phillip tries to reassure her but if anything that makes her feel worse. That this might not work hasn't entered her mind in the least until now. There's a good kind of flutter in her stomach, though, tempering her nerves somewhat. When Mulan comes back everything is going to change.

"I should be going with you," Phillip says as she wraps the cloak lengthwise around the sword, ties it off in a makeshift baldric, and slings it over her shoulder.

"Stay with Leah. Mulan will want to see you both when it's done," says Aurora.

He looks as though he wants to say something, perhaps warn her not to get her hopes up, but she doesn't give him the chance. She stops in the nursery to hug Leah and kiss her on the forehead, then marches to the front door. 

Phillip holds her by both arms, looking her directly in the eye. "Come back to me."

"I will," she says. 

"I mean it. Mulan is my friend, but you are my wife. Your safety is all that matters to me."

"I owe it to her," Aurora says. "We both do."

His mouth clamps shut at this reminder and his face contorts into something uncomfortable, as though on the verge of tears. "Good luck," he croaks. 

Aurora grabs the keys to Phillip's police cruiser, sends up silent thanks to Snow for the driving lessons, and makes it to Main Street in a criminally short period of time and with only one dicey moment riding up onto the curb. She barely remembers to put the car in park and turn off the engine when she pulls up to the corner where Emma, Regina, and Snow are already waiting. It's early yet so there aren't many people about, but Emma has put up cautionary yellow tape around the whole intersection.

"Do you have a license?" Emma asks. Snow coughs and Emma slumps a little. "Right, sorry, not the time. Regina?"

"Give me the sword," says Regina, holding out her hand.

Aurora pulls the cloak over her head and unrolls it, withdrawing Mulan's sword. "What are you going to do with it?"

"It reflects magic, yes?" Regina says impatiently. 

"Yes."

"Then it's exactly what we need to keep anything else from coming through the portal with Mulan. Whatever in-between realm she's in, she doesn't naturally belong there. I'm just going to give her a...nudge."

Aurora looks at Emma, still slightly mystified. "Do you understand what she's going to do?"

"Not really," says Emma, and Regina rolls her eyes. "But it sounded pretty good when she explained it to me, and I trust her. So." She makes a gesture between Regina and the sword.

Aurora hands it over hilt first, and then Snow guides her back to the sidewalk, to the other side of the tape. "It's going to be okay," she says. 

Regina holds the sword in one hand and waves the other over the blade, a soft purple glow shining from her palm. She walks a few steps left, then right, squints, and sets the sword down very precisely. She backs up a few paces, says Emma's name brusquely to summon her. 

Emma goes to her side. Together they raise their hands, mimicking their stances from the day of the battle. By some unspoken countdown, their magic begins flowing at the same time, twining together in ribbons until both streams splash up against an invisible obstruction. Wind kicks up from the impact, blowing hard in their faces, but they don't stop and slowly, slowly, a glowing vertical puddle of blue begins to spread from the point where the magic stops, directly above Mulan's sword.

The sword picks up the blue glow, gleaming brighter and brighter until Aurora has to shield her eyes. The puddle grows larger, the size of a dish plate to a shield to a door, and then there's the silhouette of a woman's body. Mulan falls forward out of the portal, collapsing onto the ground.

Regina and Emma immediately disconnect, their magic flaring and vanishing. The portal shrinks to a dot and disappears. 

"Mulan!" Aurora shouts, running to her, turning her onto her back. Her hands come away bloody. Aurora presses frantically on the wound in her shoulder, the very spot where the demon pierced her before she disappeared. "Why is she like this?" Aurora asks. Emma is already on her phone, calling for an ambulance. "She was fine in my dreams."

Regina kneels next to her, examining Mulan's body but not touching her. "She wasn't in a physical realm. As soon as she came back to this one, her body must have reappeared as it was at the moment she left."

"Mulan, I'm so sorry," Aurora says, hoping that Mulan can hear her. 

"Hold on, the ambulance is coming," says Emma, shoving her phone in her pocket and joining Aurora and Regina. Snow brings over Mulan's cloak and gets Aurora to lift her hands just enough to press the cloth over the wound.

"Do something," Aurora pleads with Regina. "Can't you heal her?"

"Something like this..." Regina frowns in concentration, but the purple light from her hands sputters and dies almost as soon as she summons it.

"Emma, please, you have light magic," Aurora begs. "Do something." 

"I've never..." But Emma puts her hands on Mulan's shoulder anyway. Aurora shifts to give her room. Emma squeezes her eyes shut and screws up her face. No magic is forthcoming.

"Please, please," Aurora whispers. She grasps one of Mulan's hands in both of hers, holding it up to her lips. "Please," she whispers again into Mulan's clammy skin. She lets go with her right hand, placing it on top of Emma's. 

Without warning rich white light pours forth from Emma's hands, seeping into Mulan, sealing up the wound. Emma holds on as long as she can, then keels over, gasping for breath. The light goes out but Mulan's wound is much less grievous now, as though it's had several weeks of healing. Shiny new skin has grown all around the edges. 

"Holy shit," Emma says, breathing hard. 

Snow beams at her, the proudest mother in the world, and Regina gives her a satisfied nod. "Not bad."

"Thank you," says Aurora. 

"I'm not entirely sure that was all me," says Emma, regarding Aurora thoughtfully.

Aurora looks down into Mulan's face, unconscious but peaceful, and brushes hair away from her eyes. In the distance they can hear sirens wailing.

*

Aurora refuses to leave Mulan in the hospital, even though being here like this stirs up awful memories of Mulan's first appearance in Storybrooke. Aurora is determined that this time will be different. She washes the blood from her hands, calls Phillip to come to the hospital, and pulls a chair up by her bed after Dr. Whale determines she doesn't need surgery. Snow very kindly offers to go get Phillip in the police cruiser while Emma and Regina stay behind to make sure there are no portal remnants lurking, waiting to cause trouble.

Phillip comes in with Leah in her sling and spots Mulan first, still unconscious but looking much better than when she first dropped out of the portal. The nurses have removed her armor; Aurora has it stacked neatly, knowing Mulan would fret about it otherwise. The holes through the leather are going to be hell to repair. In her thin blue gown she looks younger, smaller. But wonderfully alive.

"Is she...?" Phillip asks in hushed tones.

"Fine. She's fine," says Aurora, matching his volume. "Just resting."

He heaves a sigh of relief to end all sighs, one hand cradling Leah's head. "Tell me everything," he says, and pulls a chair over to sit on the other side of Mulan's bed. 

Aurora describes Emma and Regina's magic, the portal, the terror of finding Mulan still wounded. The miracle of Emma healing her. Phillip listens, and when she's done, his face is solemn and resigned. "Do you love her?" he asks.

She busies herself smoothing out nonexistent rucks in Mulan's blankets. "Of course, she's my friend-"

"Aurora," he interrupts, and they both know she understands the question.

"I'm not sure any of this would have worked if I didn't," Aurora answers at last. Finally she looks at Phillip, wanting to at least give him that much. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know." He slumps a little in his chair, careful of Leah, who is snoozing peacefully. "I just...I don't know."

So they sit there in silence, Mulan between them, unable to say anything else.

*

In another twist of the universe's sense of humor, Aurora is asleep when Mulan wakes up. It's Mulan's legs slowly bending at the knee under the covers that drag Aurora into wakefulness. She blinks rapidly until she realizes what the shifting means. "Mulan," she says, lifting her head from the stiff hospital mattress. 

Mulan makes a few dry-mouthed smacking sounds. "Aurora?"

"Welcome back," says Aurora. Once again she finds herself pouring a cup of water for Mulan, letting her drink until her tongue unshrivels.

Mulan stares up at her adoringly. "You did it."

She looks down modestly. "Regina and Emma did it, mostly."

"Thank you anyway."

Aurora tilts her head and smiles. "Well I was tired of you always getting to be the hero."

Mulan doesn't seem to have the energy to do anything but smile back at her. "I woke you," she says a moment later, noticing the lights are dim and it's dark outside her window.

"I'm glad you did."

"You should sleep."

"I've slept for a lifetime." 

Mulan makes the face that means she absolutely will argue with Aurora about this until she gives in, so Aurora nudges Mulan until she gets the hint and shifts over, albeit with a grimace. 

Aurora makes a sympathetic face. "Your shoulder?" 

Mulan nods.

Aurora climbs into the bed, lying on her side and sharing half of Mulan's pillow. With some effort, Mulan manages to turn onto her side as well, lying on her healthy shoulder. "I'm so glad you're here," Aurora tells her. She touches Mulan's cheek with her fingertips, then with her palm. Mulan looks back at her with dark, steady eyes. 

But when Aurora inches her head closer, close enough that they're sharing breaths, Mulan speaks. "Where's Phillip?"

"At home with Leah," Aurora answers reluctantly, pulling back just a bit.

"He-"

"Mulan." Aurora strokes her thumb across Mulan's cheekbone. "I'm not in love with Phillip anymore."

Mulan's eyes flicker in confusion. "But-"

"Things change. People change. That's one of the things I learned in this world." Her hand drifts down to the smooth curve of Mulan's neck. She can feel Mulan's pulse, strong and steady, and beating faster. This time when Aurora slides forward, Mulan meets her. They kiss, soft and simple, lingering sweetly. Mulan's eyes are still closed when Aurora retreats back to her side of the pillow. 

"If this is still a dream," says Mulan, "Never wake me up."

Aurora takes Mulan's hand, holding it over the covers. "This is real," she says.


	6. Epilogue

"Mulan, you're not supposed to be lifting things yet," Aurora chides her, rushing over to take the box of donated dishware.

"I'm not supposed to be lifting heavy things. This isn't heavy," Mulan argues, but lets Aurora take the box anyway. 

Aurora carries the box to the kitchen and starts unpacking it while Mulan watches from where she's leaning against the sofa, arms folded. 

"Knock knock," Snow says in the open door, and comes in with David and baby Neal in tow. She has another cardboard box in her hands. "Thought you might need some more linens. You know, towels, bedsheets."

"You've already given me so much," Mulan begins, a protest forming on her lips.

"Don't worry about it. It gives her an excuse to go shopping," says David, and dodges away from Snow's retaliatory elbow.

"Thank you," says Mulan, accepting the box, only to sigh when Aurora unleashes another shower of scolding. She hands it off to Aurora, who zooms off to put it in the tiny bathroom. Mulan's apartment is little more than a loft space with a pair of sliding doors dividing the open plan kitchen and living room from the bedroom and attached bathroom. But it has nice high ceilings and big windows, which help to make it feel less confining, and it came furnished.

Aurora finishes in the bathroom and resumes her bustling in the kitchen, putting up Mulan's paltry collection of mismatched dinnerware, all donated or thrifted. Her clothes are the same, and Snow and David have already generously filled the refridgerator with food. 

"When do you start work?" asks David.

"Next week," says Mulan, hands in her pockets for lack of something to do. Her convalescence is mostly done, and Aurora knows she's been itching for physical activity because Aurora has had to stop her from said physical activity several times a day for three days running.

"And we can't wait," says Snow. "You're gonna be a great gym teacher."

"At least until Emma finds room in the budget to hire you," says David. 

Mulan smiles politely. It's been hard for her, acclimating so quickly to this world. From her descriptions, for the short time she was in this world before getting trapped in between, she lived much the same life she always had in Robin's camp. She slept in a tent, hunted for food, and bathed in the river or hauled water if she wanted a hot bath. This time around she's making the move more permanent with a place of her own and gainful employment and trading her armor for this world's clothing. Aurora finds Mulan very fetching in her dark jeans and plain white henley.

In any case, it's not certain that Mulan will end up at the sheriff's department. After all, Phillip still works there, and though he and Mulan have spoken seriously several times, Mulan still believes that there are things that should be said between them.

"Well," says Snow, catching on to the slight awkwardness. "We just wanted to say hi, and we might be back later with some more things."

Aurora says farewell for both of them and closes the door after they leave. She watches as Mulan visibly relaxes when it's just the two of them, sliding down onto the couch proper and leaning her head back. Aurora joins her, close but not too close. They haven't done much more than hold hands, and briefly at that before Mulan coughed and blushed.

"Mulan," says Aurora, watching her profile.

"Hm?"

"I've been talking to Ruby about life in this world."

"Oh?"

"She says courtship is different here."

Mulan's voice pitches up slightly. "Is it?"

"I know things are complicated." An understatement, with Aurora still sharing a house with Phillip. It's what's best for Leah at the moment, which is obviously Aurora's priority, but she's starting to figure out just how much freedom she really has in this world to be her own person. She touches Mulan's hand, letting their fingers lock together. "But we didn't go through everything that happened just to stay away from each other."

Mulan squeezes her hand. 

"So I'm going to take you on a date," Aurora continues, far more confident than she feels.

Mulan's face is adorable as she tries to parse the phrase. "Date?"

"Ruby says that's what they call courting here. 'Dating'."

"Why don't they just call it courting?" Mulan asks.

"Just go with it," Aurora advises her, and leans in to kiss her on the cheek. "I'll pick you up tonight at eight. Wear something nice."

*

Aurora is completely unprepared for what she finds when Mulan opens the door in tight black pants, a fitted white button down with the sleeves rolled up, and stylish suspenders. She reaches for words, any words at all, and comes up with a simple, earnest, "Wow."

Mulan looks at Aurora in her figure-hugging blue dress, her hair curled and soft. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever met," she says, then immediately looks embarassed at her honesty.

Aurora takes her in, the slim lines of her warrior's body, her hair gathered up in a simple quiff ponytail. "Oh to hell with it," she says, and tosses her clutch on the floor. She surges forward, kicking the door shut behind her, hands coming up to cradle Mulan's face, and kisses her with all the pent up longing and passion of the past few months. 

Mulan barely catches her, taking one big stride back before her arms go around Aurora's waist, holding the two of them steady. 

"Where did you even get this outfit," says Aurora between kisses. 

"I asked Ruby," Mulan says, hands roaming across Aurora's back and down to her hips. 

"Remind me to thank her," says Aurora. Mulan kisses her back fervently, like a woman clinging to flotsam in a storm. Their kisses grow wet and open-mouthed and Aurora feels lightheaded with Mulan's body pressed against hers, her strong arms and her soft breasts and the hard points of her hips. 

"Wait, wait," says Mulan, stopping with great difficulty. She still holds Aurora close, rests their foreheads together while she catches her breath. "Perhaps we should go to dinner. Talk. It's what Ruby says is supposed to happen on a date."

Aurora noses along Mulan's cheek. "Since when," and she punctuates her words with a kiss on Mulan's jawline. "Have we ever done what we were supposed to do?"

Mulan's reply is to kiss her deeply until neither of them can breathe, and then take her by the hand to lead her into the bedroom.

*

Mulan falls asleep easily, head resting on Aurora's shoulder.

Aurora, who has had her fill of sleep, focuses on how it feels to hold Mulan, warm skin on skin, legs twined. Her life is so complicated now between Phillip and Leah and Mulan. But it doesn't feel complicated when she's here. For the first time in a long while, since before they found Phillip's soul, she feels entirely like herself.

She shifts a little, trying to get Mulan to settle more comfortably on her body. Mulan, never a deep sleeper, comes to with a little sound that Aurora finds impossibly cute. "Can't sleep?" she mumbles.

Aurora strokes her hair, whispering in the dark. "I'm fine."

"I can make tea."

"Go back to sleep," says Aurora, running her hand up and down Mulan's spine. 

Wonder of wonders, Mulan obeys. But before she does, she rearranges their bodies until she's holding Aurora from behind and brushes a kiss against her shoulderblade. Aurora feels Mulan's hand splayed against her stomach gradually go limp, and then her breaths coming slow and even. It lulls Aurora into drowsiness and eventually, sleep. 

When she wakes up she has no recollections of her dreams, just Mulan pressing against her. She's more than content and she can sense long years in the way Mulan so tenderly holds her. They have that time now, but she sees no reason to wait. If she's learned anything, it's not to take time for granted. "I love you," she murmurs when she sees Mulan is awake too.

"I love you too," Mulan says calmly. 

"I don't feel like getting up," Aurora confesses.

"Neither do I."

So they don't.


End file.
